Husband and I had a conversation last night while he was sleeping. In retrospect, this is not the best plan. It went like this. I came home from SeaWorld and Ginger peed in the grass and I wrote a post for my blog and added movies to my Netflix queue and finally decided to go to bed about 30 minutes before he needed to get up to go to work. He woke up a little bit when I came to bed and asked how SeaWorld was and we started talking and I thought that he was more awake than he really was. I made some comment about how we were out of water and I’ve never gone to the place and filled up the jugs with water, it always just seems to happen and I don’t know how to do it and so now I’m going to be thirsty because I finished the water but I’m not going to go get more because that’s a new thing and I’m scared of new things and so I’ll just be thirsty and wow I really don’t act like a grown-up some times. I should have stopped here. But I kept going.
Me: Does it bother you that sometimes I don’t act like a grownup?
Me: That’s really not a good place to not say anything.
Husband: Oh, sorry, I thought I responded….
Me: So… Does it bother you that sometimes I don’t act like a grownup?
Husband: Sorry, I thought I said Yes.
Me: Yes? (thinking, surely he meant no, he can’t possibly have said yes and meant it, could he?)
Husband: Yes. It bothers me that sometimes I have to ask you to do things more than once or that I have to ask you to do things at all that you just should have done.
At this point, my mind is going crazy. What does he mean by this? What sorts of things is he talking about? He must be talking about how I haven’t been tidying up around the house and how I tracked grass in the other morning and didn’t vacuum it up and I made him get up to clean up after Ginger cause I’d already done it once today and gee I hope that he says something soon unless maybe he thinks that I’m a really bad wife and has been waiting to say something like this for a while and Oh My God what have I done?!?!?!?!?
Me: So, um, my grown-up self realizes that your sleeping but my insecure 13-year old self is kind of having a panic attack because I don’t really know what you meant by that and so of course you mean that I’m awful at life and being a wife and it would be nice if you say something unless your silence means that you are secretly laughing inside because I am finally realizing how awful I am…
Husband: … Snore
Freak out continues. Eventually he wakes up and we talk about this (which involved a lot of me hiding under the covers and/or my squashy pillow) and now everything is fine, but now I feel guilty about all the things that I haven’t done around the house. So now I have a to-do list that looks like this:
Crap. That’s too broad. Ok, let’s make it a little more specific.
Tidy bathroom. Wipe down sinks, toilet, mirrors, scrub tub, organize under the sink, clean the floor, beat rugs.
Tidy bedroom. Put away all the clothes, put away all the clutter on my desk, Husband’s desk, my dresser, Husband’s dresser, the nightstand, organize closet, organize shoes, throw stuff away, take stuff to goodwill, wash sheets, make bed, vacuum carpet, dust, decorate.
Clean living space. Clear off tops of bookshelves, put away all the shoes, find a home for every single thing that’s out, magically make there be more room on the bookshelves so that our new books can find a home, dust, vacuum, throw stuff away, organize pantry, buy containers for bulk dry goods and put everything away, clear off the table, scrub every surface in the kitchen, find homes for everything, decorate and make it look like grown-ups live here.
As you can see, this is somewhat of a momentous list, and a lot of it just isn’t possible. I love to cook but have a teeny tiny kitchen so not everything is going to fit someplace nice and out of the way and right now we have more books than bookshelves so not really sure how to fix that problem and oh yeah, this list scares the shit out of me because it’s so huge and overwhelming so what have I done this morning instead of any of that?
Watched the movie Penelope (which was pretty cute. I liked it a lot)
Wasted time on Facebook
Discovered Dr Horrible’s Sing Along Blog (I love this! How have I not know about this before? Have I been living under a box?
Ate nachos for breakfast
Super productive morning, as you can see. I guess I should add ‘Learn to deal with your problems like a grown-up’ to my to-do list. And that is why I need to not ever have serious conversations with Husband while he is sleeping.